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Real Love

Updated: Feb 27, 2020

I remember after a month, still laying in the hospital bed I told my father I thought I would be forever alone. He said 'If I would meet a beautiful woman in a wheelchair, I would still date her.' Time went by, failed dates and moments of frustration, didn't made me give up but also didn't give me much hope to find someone who would like me enough to see past the fact that I am a wheelchair user. Love happens I guess, It's not something you can find or force. Since I am sharing my story online many random guys did leave comments on my page saying they would date me, but hey, that's not realistic at all. To find someone I'm also attracted to was the hard part. Equal attraction.


I think many women who end up in a wheelchair struggle with feeling attractive and having to find another way to own their sexuality. I know I did. But at the end of the day, If you can accept yourself and take care of your own needs, you are a queen. To the ladies out there, believe in yourself and trust that you will find someone who loves you for who you are. You need a man who can see you, your heart, your beauty, see past your disability. And these men exist, not the creepy ones, I mean a guy you also find attractive and who makes your heart skip a beat. I've found mine.


Women with a disability are under represented. In my country, the Netherlands, most people I see in the media with a disability/wheelchairuser are male. The few young and inspiring examples I could find are the ones from Los Angeles, for example Tamara Mena or Chelsie Hill. Thank god for the Internet.


Love and sexuality is important for every human being. Having a disability does not exclude us. Even If you can barely find anything about it in the media or in your environment, that just means we need to share more about ourselves. Fortunately more and more people (also with a disability) are sharing their experiences on Youtube, podcasts and writing about it on their social media pages. And I believe especiallly us women need to keep sharing to inspire each other.


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